Note: This post originally appeared on Constant Change Coaching
I want to kick off the blog here at Constant Change Coaching with what I believe is the number one issue with why people don’t achieve the results they desire in their lives: personal responsibility. Many people do not accept responsibility for their future. They are too busy blaming everyone and everything else for their past. Until a person can step back and say “I am not a product of my past and I will take responsibility for my future”, they will continue to struggle with attaining the life of their dreams.
Most people start life in less than ideal and many in horrible circumstances. However, blaming your past will not propel you to a brighter future. It simply is a fact of life. It may not be fair that you started with less resources than someone else, had abusive parents or your spouse left you. Those are situations we wouldn’t wish on anyone. But they have happened and the only helpful choice is to accept that they happened, learn from the situation and decide to start from where you are to move forward.
I’m not in any way trying to downplay how the actions of others can have a negative impact on our life. And I’m not trying to say that if something horrible happened to you, it’s your fault. I am simply saying that blaming the past and dwelling on it will not lead to a better future. There are certainly situations where people need help of trusted professionals to deal with and let go of past hurts. The goal of such counseling, or better yet coaching, should always be to get you to a point where you take responsibility for your future. It should allow you to let go of the past and enable you to look forward to a life that you create.
We can dwell on the past and stagnate. Or we can focus on building a brighter future and flourish. Which will you choose? Put first things first.